


Apple of My Eye

by Tink_Wondering



Series: Horsing Around [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 3+1, Alternate Universe, Crack, Horses, I repeat Clint and Phil are horses, M/M, based on a gif, they are horses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:47:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29214396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tink_Wondering/pseuds/Tink_Wondering
Summary: Clint has a point to prove and Phil simply wants to eat apples.Or three times Clint fails to escape and one time he does.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Series: Horsing Around [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2152374
Comments: 15
Kudos: 38





	Apple of My Eye

**Author's Note:**

> You read correctly, Phil and Clint are horses. Inspired by [this gif.](https://imgur.com/t/aww/2fDPIUj)  
> Didn’t have the energy/creativity for 5+1, sorry. Pure crack. Enjoy!  
> Also, important note that I know nothing about horses.

1.

The first time Clint tries to escape, Phil thinks he does it because he’s feeling too cooped up. 

One moment, his long, graceful neck is bent down to drink water, his lustrous brown coat shining like golden hay under the sun, and the next, he’s beside the fence studying it intensely. Once his analysis is done, Clint tests the sturdiness of one pole with his hoof—at least that’s what Phil thinks he’s doing—softly tapping on it.

And Phil can’t help himself, he’s intrigued. 

(Truth be told, he’s always been intrigued since the newcomer had arrived at their farm, but he barely has the courage to approach him, even less talk to him. So, he’s resolved himself to admire Clint from afar, like one does with those centerpiece decorations at every competition grounds’ entry.)

Phil silently makes his way closer to the other horse, trying not to be noticed. And Clint is now hitting vigorously on the pole, so Phil doubts he’d hear him anyway.

Of course, as he thinks that Clint turns his way and looks straight at him. Phil wants to hide, but there are no trees in the pasture, and he can’t act as if he didn’t see Clint, their eyes have met for at least three seconds. If he were to suddenly turn his head away, Clint would surely think he hated him—when it’s so far from the truth.

So Phil keeps walking toward him, deliberately choosing to take this chance to make friends with the newcomer, as Nick advised him.

“How solid is this?” Clint interrupts his thoughts.

“How should I know?” Phil moves even closer to look at where Clint has hit the fence. It hasn’t been damaged, but the pole has shifted in the ground and doesn’t seem to be as secure as it once was.

“You’ve been here longer, I thought—”

What he thought, Phil will never know. As soon as Natasha and Nick see them next to the fence, they shout loudly for them to move away. Before the handlers can reach them, Clint bites down on the pole and pulls. Although the pole has moved thanks to Clint’s tenacity, it hasn’t been loosened enough, and Clint’s teeth slide on it, no doubt leaving wood shavings in his mouth. Phil doesn’t envy him the next few days trying to eat with thorns in his mouth or the yelling rant Natasha will most probably give him.

For now, the empty pull has brought Clint up to his hind legs, but it doesn’t stop him. He quickly gets back on his four legs and goes for the pole once again, mouth opened wide. Seeing this, Phil shoulders him softly in the flank, just enough to deviate him from his course. 

“Clint, you don’t need to leave!” Phil says pleadingly, knowing they have a few seconds before the humans arrive. “I know there’s only me as company, but this truly is a nice place.”

“What? Leaving?” Clint suddenly stops, takes a step back and tilts his head to the side in incomprehension. “Why would I want to leave, Phil?”

Once again, before anything can be resolved the handlers finally arrive at the fence.

“Hawkeye!” Natasha’s voice echoes loud and clear in the pasture. “What have I told you about going over the fence?” Clint lowers his head in culpability, but Phil doubts it fools her for one second, and he’s right as her next words ring true, “Don’t give me that look. Destroying the fence counts as going over it.” She gestures for Clint to come closer, and she caresses his neck soothingly once he does. “I know you had more freedom at the last ranch, but I couldn’t keep you there even if I wanted to.”

Phil leaves them to sort things out on their own and goes to his own handler.

“Agent,” Nick acknowledges him. “I hope you didn’t have anything to do with this?”

Phil snorts directly in his face, knowing the man detests it, and then flicks his mane at him. As if Phil would destroy a perfectly good fence.

“If you’re acting like this, I take it you don’t want this apple?” 

Nick taunts him with a red apple in his hand, just as Phil likes them. Phil acts indifferent for a few seconds, this game being as old as they knew each other, but Clint puts a wrench into it when he filches the apple from Nick’s hand. However, the moment he bites down, he lets out a cry of pain and drops the apple from his mouth. While Natasha and Nick are tending to him, Phil bows down to the dropped fruit.

Why waste a perfectly good apple?

2\. 

The second time it happens, Phil knows Clint does it because he’s been dared to by Natasha.

Clint’s been treated for the last week for the thorns he acquired while biting down on the piece of wood—if asked, Phil would have warned him of the risk, but he wasn’t. After his last treatment, his handler had left on parting words that could only bolster Clint in his foolish ambitions.

“Don’t try this again, Hawkeye.” Natasha had said, and, even without knowing Clint that long, Phil knows she should have left it at that. She hadn’t. “Even if you do, Nick’s enclosure is strong enough to resist you.”

And Clint had gotten this twinkling in his eyes. 

Two days later, Phil is stamping his front hooves on the ground in uncertainty.

“Will you stop that,” Clint warns him lowly. “If you continue, they’ll notice us.”

“If you really want to flee, wouldn’t it be more opportune to leave at nightfall?”

“Okay, Phil.” Clint moves away from his crouched position in front of a whole where one of the fence’s plank has fallen off, leaving a wider opening. “First, it wouldn’t be as challenging if I waited for everyone to leave. Second, what’s all this talk about fleeing? Do you perhaps have the spirit of an adventurer, Agent?”

Phil’s ears flatten on his head at the name. As much as he liked the competition life, he much prefers the quiet life he now has. He’s glad he doesn’t have to travel at ungodly hours to travel or to diet. Diets were awful. The number of apples he couldn’t eat! 

“You know that’s the stage name Nick calls me by. I prefer Phil.”

“Alright, Phil.” He headbutts him in acknowledgement, and Phil swoons, wanting more of these soft touches. “Is there something I should know about this place, though?” Clint takes a step back to look around. “With all this talk about leaving, maybe it’s you that wants to.”

“No!” Phil hastens to protest before Clint can build a bad impression of Nick in his head. “I just meant that seeing as you seem so keen to go over the fence, maybe you needed a reason to stay.”

“Nah, no need to worry about that.” Clint turns an amused eye on him. “Nat said it was time that I retired since I couldn’t jump over fences as I used to, and I thought I would prove her wrong. Also, there’s an apple tree over there calling my name.”

And yeah, Phil being a retired show horse, he knows it’s not easy to leave the competition life behind. He still found himself going through his paces when Nick came to visit him sometimes. 

(Also, Nick was easily nostalgic which won him an apple without fail.)

“Don’t you dare eat all those apples,” Phil warns. “They’re mine as much as they’re yours.”

“I promise to bring you some when I get out. Now, watch a pro do his job.”

Having said that, Clint puts his head through the hole, which may be bigger here, but it doesn’t seem big enough to fit a whole horse. After that, he tries to fit a leg through but unsurprisingly gets stuck instead. Phil looks at him unimpressed and doesn’t move to help him. Clint is in an awkward position, head through the hole, a folded leg stuck halfway, and the three left slightly bent to compensate for the lower hole in the fence.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to prove your handler wrong by jumping over the fence?” Phil asks after a few seconds of fruitless struggling; to get in or out, Phil is not sure.

“Yes, at first.” Clint breathes harder from holding the position. “But then, she threatened to withhold sugar cubes if I jumped over the fence.”

“And simply letting it go didn’t cross your mind?”

“She dared me twice, Phil!” he whined. 

Yes, Clint would interpret something said for his well-being as a dare.

Well, it wasn’t his problem. And while Clint was stuck, Phil could enjoy the full display of his croup without feeling guilty. Also, Natasha and Nick were sure to come by soon to investigate considering they left the part of the pasture which is in view of the house.

3.

The third time it happens, it’s been a while since Clint’s last attempt, and Phil thought he had given up on this foolish plan of his. 

(He hopes he’s moved on because Phil doesn’t wish to spend another day locked in his stall; for lacking the empathy to help a fellow comrade in need, Nick had said. Clint had been fine, though a bit sore. And clearly, that experience had taught him something if the absence of escape plans were any indication.) 

(Also, Natasha’s apple seems to mean that she was of the same opinion as Phil.)

During this peaceful time, Phil had even enjoyed getting to know the other horse who was as equally charming and exasperating. The two of them had fallen into a friendship mostly consisting of dry banter—which Phil uses to hide his growing attraction.

But as it is, Clint gets bored easily, and on a day Phil is enjoying the sun and not paying him much attention, Clint is at it again, in the most peculiar way.

Since Clint’s arrival, one stray dog has taken a shine to him and has been coming and going irregularly into their paddock. 

(And Clint has adopted him, despite not having the power nor the resources to do so. He’s named him Lucky—to have found them—and it was too late to do anything about it. Also, Phil may be wrong, but he thinks he saw it in Natasha and Nick’s house a few nights ago.)

Phil had wondered how the dog had come in their enclosure, seeing as Natasha and Nick had repaired the hole Clint had tried to escape through.

The mystery is no longer mysterious when Phil sees Clint lying down in front of a part of the fence that seems oddly high from the ground: the dog had dug his way in. 

Phil should get up and stop Clint or something, but he’s too comfortable in the sun. Also, Nick complained that Clint might have been in danger, and right now there was nothing indicating harm coming to him. He does neigh loudly; may it be in encouragement or in warning though, even he doesn’t know.

Also, Phil feels it’s partly thanks to him that Clint gets halfway out. Seeing Phil lounging in the sun, Natasha and Nick don’t react when Clint suddenly drops to the ground, probably classifying it as one of his many quirks.

(Like when Clint spits water upwards. He likes to tell Phil that he’s a fountain, similar to one he once saw in a competition. Phil has seen fountains. It doesn’t look like that.)

Once on the ground and for lack of a better word, Clint shimmies under the fence. 

At first, he’s lying on his belly, front legs sprawled in front of him. However, when he understands that his hind legs and croup are too big to get through, he rolls on his side. He then does some push and pull movements which miraculously carry him forward.

Thinking he’s finally got it, Phil perks up, ready to encourage him on his way to the apple tree and remind him of the promised shared reward.

Ironically, Natasha and Nick had called someone to replace the old fence, and the man arrives just as Clint has one last push to give and get free. And as humans tend to do, the man shouts loudly to alert Natasha and Nick of their errant horse.

Phil lies back down, discomfited at the lack of apples in his near future.

+1

The one time Clint finally manages to get out, Phil isn’t even looking, he’s eating with his back to the fence. 

The wooden fence has been replaced with an electric one after Clint’s many attempts to escape. Not to be stopped, Clint still tries again and again to get through it—too many for Phil’s heart which constricts each time, in fear that he’ll truly hurt himself this time. 

The fence seems flimsy when first looking at it—which may explain Clint’s stubbornness, Phil thinks—but it packs quite a current. 

Phil has brushed it once by accident—okay he wanted to make sure it was safe for Clint’s repeated attempts to get past it—and it had numbed him for a full minute.

In any case, safe in his knowledge that Clint wasn’t in danger, Phil got used to ignoring Clint’s attempts at becoming the lightning horse. 

(And if Phil remembers correctly from his competition days, there already was the thunder horse, whose marching hooves and braying call could drown any sound, even the thunder. They would make quite the pair if Clint succeeded in his attempt to absorb all of the fence’s electricity.)

Phil’s been fooled too many times by Clint’s failed tries to escape; and as they say, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Since they’re well past the twelfth time and Clint has no shame, Phil simply tends to his business as usual, explaining the eating with his back to the fence—easier to ignore if he doesn’t see it.

When he hears Clint’s happy brays of victory, he perks up, but he doesn’t react further. Surely the other horse is making a fool of himself _again_ and Phil somehow mistook the pain as happiness.

But a few minutes later, something bumps against his left back hoof, and when he looks down, he sees a red apple.

“Want more, Phil?”

Clint is on the other side of the fence, with a few apples at his feet. How he brought so many over, Phil doesn’t know.

“How? Why?”

“You asked me why I needed a reason to stay once. Want to know why I don’t need one anymore? I have you. And you, here, is more than enough.” 

Left without words, Phil muzzles his way under Clint’s chin in thanks, and he rubs his head against him in love. And as far as declarations go, apples were the utmost proof of love in Phil’s book. 

(The fence having short-circuited turns back on while they’re still cuddling over it. They jump apart and their loud cries of pain bring Natasha and Nick out of their house in a hurry. The humans are graced with the view of Clint on the other side of the fence with apples peppered around on the ground. After that, through Nick’s grumbling, they plant an apple tree in the middle of their enclosure thinking it was Clint’s aim from the start. It was not.) 


End file.
